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February 08, 2010
I picture you in paradise beyond imagination, where all the colors of the rainbow dance in perfect form, waterfalls & green lush lawns & smiles, love & laughter. Some how we will get through, we will hold each other up against the ever present pain that is with us day & night. I picture you in paradise beyond imagaination............
Big Brother Timmy, I still see your crystal blue eyes & your expressions of innocense, That boyish grin & charming wit, out across the dark star studded sky I search for you, the crushing in my heart, a candle lit, I don't know why you had to go away & leave this unending trail of pain, I look into your mothers tired eyes & see a wound no one but you could heal. The night you left you took with you our souls and left behind an empty hole to fill,
January 17, 2010
Timmy, Thank you for letting me be a part of your life and giving me the honor of calling you my brother. I love you. Happy Birthday. Beckie
Missing You Oh, Timmy, I am missing you! My heart can't seem to mend. These last few months I've fooled myself, But no more can I pretend. You've not just gone to foreign lands, To come home any day. You've gone to where I can't yet go, You've gone away to stay. I used to feel I could hear your steps Walking down the hall, But when I eagerly checked it out, You were not there at all. I used to think I heard your voice Calling, "Mom, it's me!" But when I went to welcome you, You were not there to see. In daydreams I still see your face, You dance around my heart. But then reality sets in And I know that we're apart. Those memories of days gone by Are jewels I'll always treasure. They're safely locked within my heart, I love you without measure. And, hope, too, lives within my heart, For this I know is true: Someday my call from God will come And then I'll be with you. Happy Birthday Timmy, Love Mom Author -Saralyn McAfee Smith
January 10, 2010
Timmy's First Birthday in Heaven Had we only know, Timmy, dear, That when the month of January came round this year We'd no longer see your loving face Or your happy smile and your sunny grace, We'd no doubt have gazed at you hard and long, And listened as well to the lovely song Which always surrounded your every word And which from now till forever will be unheard, Except, of course, in the hearts and minds Of the friends and family you've left behind; But we'll carry forever that song--and a prayer-- And whenever we think of you, you will be there To gladden our hearts you lived with us a while, And shared your sweet song and your face and your smile. Happy Birthday Timmy - Love, Mom, Dad, Bonnie, Tracy, Beckie XXOO Author - Saralyn McAfee Smith
November 27, 2009
I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high, And life worth living I dreamed that love would never die I dreamed that God would be forgiving. Then I was young and unafraid When dreams were made and used, And wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung, No wine untasted. But the tigers come at night With their voices soft as thunder As they tear your hopes apart As they turn your dreams to shame. And still I dream he'll come to us And we will live our lives together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms We cannot weather... I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I'm living So different now from what it seems Now life has killed The dream I dreamed.
November 25, 2009
Wish You Were Here (Waters, Gilmour) 5:17 So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, Blue skys from pain. Can you tell a green field From a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell? And did they get you to trade Your heros for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange A walk on part in the war For a lead role in a cage? How I wish, how I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls Swimming in a fish bowl, Year after year, Running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears. Wish you were here.
November 18, 2009
To Our Cherished Son Love Mom and Dad XO Cherished Memories Oh, happy days when you were here, And every day was so much fun! It never once occurred to me That you would have to leave us, son. Whenever I am sad or blue, I stretch across the wall of time To find you still within my heart, With all our memories sublime. No longer can I touch your hair, No longer see you face to face, But with the treasures in my heart, I can your memory embrace. And Time is not your master now, For you can any age assume--- The lanky youth you had become, Or baby fair, with heaven's bloom. I see you racing down the hill, Or fast asleep in Daddy's chair; Whatever age or form you take, You always seem so wondrous fair! My precious babe with auburn curls, My stalwart son with blazing smile--- No matter what you are today Will surely my sad heart beguile. So, come and cheer my weary self; Come and lift my downcast heart. You are my own, my precious son, And I have loved you from the start. So, from my cherished memories, You run and walk and smile once more, To keep me company here below Till we unite at Heaven's door. Author - Saralyn McAfee Smith
November 16, 2009
Holidays Without You The table won't be set for the family Christmas feast, Nor will Mom be hanging the usual Christmas wreaths. The decorations won't be hung by the chimney with care, There won't be Thanksgiving snow or crisp clean Christmas air. The yule log won't be lit nor the fire all aglow, There will be no Christmas Carols being sung out in the snow. There will be no tree to light nor to decorate, No cookies baking in the oven, no food for Holiday plates. Presents will not be selected with anticipation of the giving, and our only Christmas wish is that you were still of the living. Wish lists won't be needed and last minute shopping wont be done, What good are lists and shopping if we can't be with our loved one. There will be no remeniscing of Christmas's gone by, All of our energy will be put into trying not to cry. Christmas morning will not exist the way it was before, The hurt will be just too much, knowing your not coming through the door. The anticipation of fun and cheer will not take place this year, And I wonder now, if it ever will again, how can it without you here? So, although we wish it would not come, it's inevitably going to transpire, In my heart, and head and home, Christmas no longer is desired. As these Holidays come to pass and the usual songs start to play, My tears will fall, my heart will break as we get closer to the Holidays. I'll bow my head and say a prayer to the Angels he's now with up above, To look after my brother Timmy and surround him with God's love. Let his first Christmas be spent with loved ones that went before, let him play the Christmas songs on his guitar like Christmas's of yore. Let his plate be full of Holiday food and all the Christmas joys, And may God hold him in his arms real tight just like Mom did when he was a boy. I have already made my wish list for this year, It will always stay the same as each Christmas draws near. There is only one item written on my list, Only one thing I will ever wish, My wish is that you come home and show me your Irish smile, That you'll stay, laugh and hug me, even if it's only for a while. So here is my Christmas hug to my Brother up above, I hope you know how much your missed and how deeply you will always be loved. Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas Timmy. Love, Beckie XXOO written by Beckie for my Brother Timmy
November 11, 2009
Starry, starry night. Paint your palette blue and grey, Look out on a summer's day, With eyes that know the darkness in my soul. Shadows on the hills, Sketch the trees and the daffodils, Catch the breeze and the winter chills, In colors on the snowy linen land. Now I understand what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they did not know how. Perhaps they'll listen now. Starry, starry night. Flaming flowers that brightly blaze, Swirling clouds in violet haze, Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue. Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain, Weathered faces lined in pain, Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand. Now I understand what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they did not know how. Perhaps they'll listen now. For they could not love you, But still your love was true. And when no hope was left in sight On that starry, starry night, You took your life, as lovers often do. But I could have told you, Vincent, This world was never meant for one As beautiful as you. Starry, starry night. Portraits hung in empty halls, Frameless head on nameless walls, With eyes that watch the world and can't forget. Like the strangers that you've met, The ragged men in the ragged clothes, The silver thorn of bloody rose, Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow. Now I think I know what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they're not listening still. Perhaps they never will... From your loving little sister Bonnie I love you Timmy.
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