over six weeks ago many of us were gathered or knew in our hearts that on this spot a
wonderful moment of celebration in Gabe's and my life was taking place, a
marriage of two loves.
found this property, thanks to Tanya, gay marriage was actually illegal... How
much has changed.
we gather again for something even more wondrous and profound as we celebrate
the culmination of Gabe’s amazing life amongst us.
and I lived life at lightning speed, neither one of us felt we had control of
the pace and we surrendered fully to what unfolded. I am grateful for our “magic
carpet ride” as we called it, and all that we managed to fit into our time
week before he died, we said good-bye to his dog Colby, a couple weeks after our
cat Buster disappeared. In the past week we heard James Taylor perform at the
Hollywood bowl, we had a couple of our many cherished dinner parties, opening
our home and breaking bread with others. Last Thursday Gabe lead a meeting full
of excitement about his ongoing efforts to create an annual music festival
benefit for Anam Cara, the Topanga Folk Fest.
spent an amazing evening celebrating Sherry's birthday at the Bistro with dear
friends, some we had only met that evening who had discovered Gabe's
magnificence, and we shared more treasured time with Bruce and Teresa, who love
us like a brother and sister, as well as other Canyon friends.
before he died, we visited the Descanso Botanical Garden, holding hands
– as we always did everywhere we went – we walked in nature, savoring the
beauty all around us. That night, we were up late in Alta Dena with Mary Ellen,
for a wonderful Indian dinner and to prepare for a hospice volunteer training
that was scheduled for this Friday-Sunday weekend. Gabe had decided he would start
training with the opening topic “What Death
Teaches Us About Life”... We expected 10 to 15 people for the training. Now he is
teaching all of us instead.
morning he died was beautiful for us, filled with tenderness, meditation and
yoga, work in the garden, preparing to send out our wedding photo album to all
our friends later that evening. We went for a short bike ride, one of our
favorite activities throughout our relationship and always so much more
enjoyable here in Topanga.
outdoors at Pat's for a Father's Day brunch, enjoying a canyon breeze and some
beautiful live folk music played by a musician Gabe had intended to ask to sing
at the Folk Fest. Before the food came, he complained of heartburn, apparently
much more than merely that. Neither of us knew he was at risk for an inherited
asked me to ride home and get the car to take him to the hospital rather than
call the paramedics or an ambulance. We made it two blocks from the hospital;
he was holding my hand and collapsed on my shoulder. A team of caregivers tried
so very hard to save him.
a spectacularly beautiful day. At the hospital Olivia remarked that if felt as
if in some grotesquely tragic way heaven had collided with earth.
loved to create community, he and I never, never, felt it more than we do
here... and immeasurably more today. Gabriel sought community his entire life,
slowly evolving into greater and greater authenticity, as do many people who
grow up different spend much of their early years hiding and feeling alone and
disconnected. He found home, community, and more joy here in the past year than
he ever discovered in all the earlier years of his life. I too have never
experienced or imagined this love and support, and I am so grateful for him,
and for the comfort you are providing me.
he and I were exponentially greater than our separate selves. I will never ever
be the same without him. But in his physical death, he has created a void, an
opening for community and others to come forward and do work he would have done
to realize his dream. It is wonderful to me that in his death he has again
created yet another of his famous audience participation events and galvanized
all of us to fulfill his dream in his honor. We will work from this side, and
that he will work from the other side, I imagine him greeting all those who
I don't believe that he wanted to, he has stepped aside to allow the community
to embrace Anam Cara as he always dreamed, the two of us nothing more than the
spark of the vision, caretakers and stewards of this magical land.
you were witness to Gabe's amazing magic with beauty and art. He could see the
potential in all things, from sculpting, design, building, singing, thought-provoking
and profound performance pieces, magic in the garden, and even more magic as an
alchemist with whole food. Always remember the way he created art and beauty
from the simplest random assortment of flatware and sugar packets on a
restaurant table, or rearranged someone's home – sometimes without their
permission – into something entirely new.
are for the living. Gabe is modeling that for all of
us. Yes it is sad,
horribly sad. But he is fortifying me and imbuing this sacred land with his
life, a place where death is sad but not frightening. Where this place in
nature – like earth medicine and therapy – can hold the dying and the loved
ones left behind... We are his loved ones.
Look at the beauty that
surrounds us. He was beloved by so many; he feels your love and the cradle of
support you have created for me. He is a magnificent being.